One spouse wants to enjoy the wealth they’ve built, while the other wants to preserve more for the next generation.
It’s an understandable divide — but before you debate spending versus saving, it’s important to get clear on what’s really driving each perspective.
Is it truly about legacy — or spending avoidance?
For many couples, the desire to “leave more for the kids” can sometimes be a convenient way to justify not spending at all. After decades of saving, it’s uncomfortable to see accounts stop growing — or even decrease — for the first time.
In reality, most of my work with retirees isn’t about helping them spend less. It’s about convincing them to spend more — and do so intentionally.
If your plan is well-designed, you shouldn’t be playing a guessing game about whether your money will last. A healthy plan maintains your spending power over time and often even keeps your account values flat or growing modestly after inflation. That means there’s likely already a meaningful inheritance built in.
Defining “enough” for your kids — and for yourselves
If you’re debating how much to spend versus save, start by defining what “enough” looks like on both sides.
Ask yourselves:
- How much would feel like a meaningful legacy for your children?
- How much additional annual spending would make you feel like you’re truly enjoying the fruits of your work?
For many families, the number needed to “enjoy more” isn’t dramatic. An extra $15,000–$20,000 a year might mean upgraded flights, a better vacation home, or one more family trip — things that create memories without jeopardizing your long-term plan.
Spending that also builds legacy
Spending and legacy don’t have to be in conflict. In fact, some of the most rewarding uses of wealth serve both purposes.
That could mean:
- Taking the entire family on a memorable trip
- Helping fund a grandchild’s education
- Buying a second home that becomes part of the family’s shared experience
These types of choices let you enjoy your wealth now while also enriching your family’s future.
Closing Thoughts
Balancing these goals isn’t about choosing between your happiness and your children’s inheritance. It’s about clarity — understanding what truly brings meaning to both, and spending in ways that reflect that.
For many families, that means loosening the reins a bit, enjoying what they’ve built, and realizing that a well-structured plan can support both the life you want today and the legacy you hope to leave.
This post is based on a recent episode of the Scholar Wealth Podcast. Listen in for more insights.