“We’ve supported the same cause for decades, but now our kids want to bring in new priorities. How do we honor what we’ve built while giving them a say?”
That’s the crossroads many families face. Long-term giving relationships matter — not just for the impact they’ve made, but for the community and trust you’ve built with those organizations. At the same time, involving your children in philanthropy is one of the most meaningful ways to pass down values and create a lasting legacy.
So how do you strike that balance?
Start With Core Values
The first step is stepping back from specific organizations and asking: What values do we want our philanthropy to reflect?
Twenty years ago, when you began supporting a hospital foundation, you were in a different place in life. Your wealth was at a different stage, and your priorities may have been, too. Over time, those goals can and should evolve. Revisiting the “why” behind your giving helps clarify what still resonates and where adjustments may be needed.
Involve the Next Generation Early
It’s tempting to think, “This is my money, so I’ll decide until I’m gone.” And technically, that’s true. But if you want your legacy to extend beyond you, then the next generation needs a seat at the table now — not later.
Letting your kids participate in philanthropic decisions helps them develop judgment, learn what matters to the family, and see how wealth can be stewarded for good. This isn’t just about money. It’s about teaching them how to balance passion, responsibility, and strategy.
Don’t Think in Either/Or Terms
Families often assume they must either stick with their established giving or pivot to something new. In reality, many times there’s a way to blend both.
For example, if your children are passionate about education, talk to the hospital foundation about whether they have initiatives tied to medical education, training programs, or community education access. Large institutions often have projects they’d love to launch but haven’t had a donor to back yet. You may find overlap that satisfies both your legacy and your children’s vision.
Consider a Family Foundation
If your giving is significant, creating a family foundation (or even just treating your giving as though it were one) can provide structure.
That means regular “board meetings” with your family to review priorities, consider proposals, and allocate funds. It formalizes the process while teaching your children how to evaluate opportunities, think long-term, and collaborate as stewards of family wealth.
Keep Communication Open
Finally, be transparent with the organizations you’ve supported. You don’t need to announce a hard stop — instead, share that you’re involving the next generation and invite those organizations to present their future initiatives. It puts them in a position to align with your family’s evolving goals, while still honoring the relationships you’ve built.
Final Thought
This isn’t just about reallocating dollars. It’s about legacy. By bringing your children into philanthropic decisions now, you’re not just teaching them how to give — you’re giving them the tools to carry forward your family’s values for decades to come.
This post is based on a recent episode of the Scholar Wealth Podcast. For more insights, listen in.