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This quarter, I want to use the Advisor Desk for something a bit different. The usual quarterly updates on the Fed (rates went up, which has put pressure on bonds), stock market (essentially flat), and gold (up slightly) are included in further sections of the newsletter and continue to be areas that we monitor and advise on daily.
Scholar recently passed the seven-year milestone which included thousands of conversations related to money, spending, investments, and personal goals. With enough conversations about money, something starts to become clear: there are clearly defined wealth paths that we tend to take, and because of that, our unique path we think we are on may not be as unique as we think.
What I mean is that the things we reach for, the milestones that feel personally meaningful, the financial decisions that seem to reflect our unique circumstances and values, tend to follow remarkably consistent patterns across very different people. And understanding those patterns can be one of the most useful things you do for your own financial life.
Here are a few that I’ve observed. Somewhere around a net worth of $5 million, the conversation almost always shifts toward a second home. It doesn’t matter whether the person grew up in a beach town or a mountain city, whether they travel constantly or rarely. There is something about that threshold that makes the idea feel achievable (it generally is) and suddenly the lake house or the Florida condo appears on the planning radar. Around $10 million, the conversation shifts again. Legacy starts to matter in a different way. It’s no longer just about providing for children; it becomes about leaving something behind, funding a cause, building a name. The vocabulary starts to change as well. We start to discuss donor-advised funds, family foundations, and what their money will say about them when they’re gone. And somewhere past $30 million, the tools change too. Irrevocable trusts, family limited partnerships, the more permanent structures of estate planning come into the picture as the goal shifts from accumulation to protection, and from building wealth to making sure the right people receive it in the right way.
What is perhaps most surprising, though, is what doesn’t change. Spending. Specifically, the baseline cost of a comfortable, full life (what I’d call non-discretionary lifestyle spending) tends to plateau somewhere in the range of $250,000 to $300,000 per year for most families. And it doesn’t move linearly with net worth. A family at $6 million and a family at $25 million often spend remarkably similar amounts on the things that make up normal expenses: housing, food, experiences, education, vehicles, health. Above a certain threshold, more money buys more optionality, not more day-to-day satisfaction.
Where the spending does expand is in a fairly narrow set of categories. Past $10 million, the incremental dollars tend to flow toward three things: travel, real estate, and legacy. A longer trip, a better property, a larger gift. The rest of life stays largely the same. You eat at the same restaurants at $10 million that you do at $50 million. You drive similar vehicles. Your grocery store doesn’t change. What changes is the scale of the experiences you pursue, the footprint and meaning of the properties you hold, and the ambition of what you want to leave behind. Understanding this is quite important. It means the life you’re building right now, at whatever stage you’re in, is probably closer to the life you’ll be living at much higher levels of wealth than you might expect. The destination isn’t as foreign as it looks from here.
Why does any of this matter? Because knowing where you are on this map and what tends to come next can help you plan with clarity rather than ambition alone. If you’re approaching a milestone, it’s worth asking whether the next purchase or goal is truly yours, or whether it’s simply the thing that people in your position tend to reach for. Sometimes it’s both, and then we need to consider the expected expense as part of your plan. But occasionally it’s worth pausing to check whether you’re building a life that reflects your actual values, or one that reflects a script that’s been running in the background without your full awareness.
This is some of the most interesting work we do. It’s not the spreadsheets or financial models, but the conversations that help you distinguish between what you want, what you’ve been conditioned to want, and what likely awaits ahead. If you haven’t had that conversation with us recently, I’d encourage you to reach out. The best planning happens when money serves your life, not the other way around.
As always, we are grateful for your trust and available if you have questions. Enjoy the tail end of summer and everything that comes with it.
– Stephan
Stephan Shipe, Ph.D., CFA, CFP®
is the Founder and CEO of Scholar Financial Advising.
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